Boundaries - a springboard for creativity and growth

Every month, I like to focus on a theme, an intention. This helps gives structure to my reflections and creativity. Some people react and rebel against the word structure. They see it as stifling their natural flow. But on the contrary, I think it enhances it, helps it to flow better – just like a pipe helps direct the flow of water. Rather than something rigid, it gives me rhythm, like the beat of a drum, and I try to align it to the beats of nature.

Photo by wu yi on Unsplash

This month, I have been contemplating the themes of boundaries. Why? Because September is often a time for a re-focus. It’s the start of the school year, and the beginning of the turn of seasons. From an expansion out through spring and summer, nature starts to get ready to draw in. The shortening of the days becomes more noticeable and the end of the year comes into focus. I see it as a prompt to start to contemplate death, metaphorical or real. The death of light. The death of nature. Our own death. And if death is too strong a word for you, then replace it with endings. Even though after every ending, there is a new beginning. There can be no new beginning without an ending first. We have to be able to honour and process endings, to allow for new beginnings.

What on earth does this have to do with boundaries and creativity, you may be asking. Well, everything!! Boundaries are what determine where something ends and something else begins. Whether they delimit place, time or people, boundaries create separation but they also create shape and contour. Without them, everything is just a mush of endless possibilities – possibly lovely and harmonious, but fruitless.

Let me give you an example with time. As you might know, if you’ve been reading my Substack for a while, I am in the process of writing my first book (current working title of “Awakening the beauty within – A journey of finding love and connection within yourself”). I started a year ago, with the intention to have it published about now. Needless to say that I’m not ready to publish, otherwise you would not be reading this, you’d be reading my book instead! But this deadline gave me the structure to start, to write something, to share it with some people, including an editor, to talk about it, and to start this Substack. All huge steps in themselves, and a long way away from where I was a year ago. But still, no book.

I’m facing an open-ended space of creativity, where I can decide when and where I work on it, how long it will take me, etc. I have total freedom. Sounds bliss, right?

Photo by Tungsten Rising on Unsplash

Well, not so much. What’s happening is that I’m finding lots of other things to do instead. Things that have deadlines and structure around them, where people expect something from me. And meanwhile, the book gets relegated to the bottom of the pile.

The reality is that we all have boundaries, as in limits. We all have 24 hours in a day and we all have a start and end date to our journey on this earth. Even if we live in an abundance mindset, our time, our energy is limited. So we have to ask ourselves: what do I want to do with my time? How do I want to spend my energy? And what do I need to do to honour the answer?

This is not easy. Staying true to ourselves and what really matters might mean saying no to some things – things we’ve done for a long time but no longer serve us. It might mean saying yes to other things – new things that scare us. It takes courage. And it takes rigour.

I took the decision to start writing my book a year ago to the day. At the time, I had just woken up one morning to find large lump in my left breast. It had literally appeared overnight. So whilst part of me was not worried, part of me was contemplating the ‘what ifs’. What if this was cancer and I had to have treatment for the next 6 months? What if I didn’t have that long to live? What if… And as the idea of an ending came into focus, another question swiftly followed: how would I want to spend my time? The answer came just as swiftly: writing.

Actually, the answer was my daughter. But more than just spending time with her, I wanted to tell my story, share what I learned and leave a trace, through writing, to guide her as she grows up. The energy that came out of that fuelled my growth and creativity for the last year.

Photo by SUKUMAR BARDOLOI on Unsplash

So whilst I agree that freedom, space and flow are wonderful to imagine, envision and create ‘in the mind’. I believe boundaries, constraints and limits are essential to initiate the spark, the will, the energy to take the actions required to create ‘in the world.

And on that note, I am about to draw a line in the sand for my book and set a date for its publication. I am extremely reluctant to do it. I feel the resistance in my body, the cold sweat, the heart beating faster. A part of me is pleading: “Don’t do it! Don’t write the words! Don’t commit, keep it open!” But I’m doing it. I need the deadline and I need the accountability, which is why I’m going to write it down here, and make you all my witness, my accountability partners.

Deep breath… Drum rolls…